Walk a mile in my shoe’s,(1) Black Woman (2) A Mother (3) Alone
I’ve done a post about Black Fathers but I have neglected to express my ideas and views on Black Motherhood and its importance to our community. So let me do that now.
What does Black Motherhood actually mean? Who the hell knows? Does it mean waking up with your child every morning and making sure they get to school okay? Sometimes. Does it mean having to build your children up and making them believe that everything is possible while the world shoves obstacles in their way? Mostly. Does it mean putting up with Black Men who “ain’t shit” because that is what is expected from them? Hell no. No. HELL TO THE NO!
See, a lot of Black Mothers are convinced that the person they decide to conceive with will never become a dead beat father like so many other Black Men have in he past. Yet, it continues to happen every day. Why? Again, who knows? Is it because many Black Women expect and allow their Black Men to abandon their children? Perhaps. Is it because Black Women have this Super Woman complex and feel that they can do anything and everything on their own, without a man’s help? Possibly. Is it because secretly some Black Women, like all races of women, love to play the victim and have people feel sorry for them because their irresponsible, unreliable Black Man abandoned them yet again? Maybe. Is it because some women hope their men will leave so that they can collect WIC, foodstamps, unemployment, AND child support? That could be it.
Whatever the reason is for Black Women around the world to allow their Black Men to abandon them and their children, it needs to stop. Black Women: Stand up and be more careful who you have children with. And for the record: IT IS NOT OKAY FOR YOUR BLACK MAN TO LEAVE YOU TO CARE FOR A CHILD ALONE – DO NOT EXPECT/TOLERATE THAT!! I understand that things may not work out. I also understand that it is difficult to make someone do something that they do not want to do, especially when you cannot track the person down. But a wise man once told me that excuses are the tools of the weak. Make it happen. And if its just too difficult for you to track the Black Father and convince/force him to take care of his Black Child, make sure you make an impact on your children so that it doesn’t happen again. Without turning them against the opposite sex of course. None of that “Black men ain’t shit” crap and “You ain’t nothing because your daddy wasn’t nothing either” etc. And if I ever hear anything like that wherever I am, I will say something. So just be prepared.
Okay, rant done. How do I feel about Black Motherhood? It takes a special kind of woman to be a Black Mother. It takes a special kind of woman to raise Greatness when the world does not recognize its potential. It takes a special kind of woman to love and care for a child that is labeled so many things outside of their own home. But women do it every day. So kudos to you.*
So what about my mom? Simply put, I was blessed with an awesome mother who would do just about anything in the world for me. She, like most mothers in Black America, was a single parent who managed to encourage me all the way through school and see me off to college, where I am currently. She has her faults. We’ve had our disagreements, and I am learning some things about her today that I could never have imagined about her before. But to this day she continues to provide me with the things that I need, despite the fact that I should have been deemed as an “independent” some years ago, according to white America. But I digress.
Black Motherhood encompasses so many things. It is filled with great moments and moments when tears of pain and sorrow are abundant. But in the end, the Black Mother is the creator and sustainer of our community. She is where it all comes from. Where it all originates. She has to power to create, multiply, and uplift the Black Community. She is IT. And once Black Women realize that they hold this power, and do not have to tolerate certain behaviors from any person on this planet, we will create a population of Black Mothers such as the world has never seen before.
I can’t wait.
*If you are a Black Woman (or Black Parents) that are fortunate enough to be blessed with a Black Son, you have an especially daunting task. I am here to tell you, you have the power to change your family, your community, and the world, and it lives and abides in your son. I’m not taking away from families with Black Daughters, they are an amazing blessing all to themselves. But a Black Son….enough said……
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